I break my fast alone at a table full of people

I grew up between Mogadishu and Nairobi, where maghrib was a shouted queue, sambusa in foil and cousins elbowing each other to get the first date. This is my first Ramadan as a Muslim living with relatives who do not fast. They cook their dinner at the same table, laugh loudly, and I sit with my plate, timing my first bite for a moment when no one is looking. Sometimes the kettle whistles and everyone talks about soap operas or football and I feel like an actor pretending this is ordinary. How do you hold onto the peace of this month when you break your fast alone at a table full of people?