I keep redoing wudu until I'm numb

After reading A Breath of Sabr I sat with my chipped mug at fajr and felt both small and seen. I'm a teacher in Lahore; mornings are full of tiny miracles, chai boiling, the rickshaw horn, the stack of notebooks I have to mark before school. Still, right before salah I get stuck. I check the inside of my wrists, the space between my fingers, step off the prayer mat, redo wudu, and the doubt creeps back in. Sometimes the waswas uses up the calm I might have had; by the time I try to pray my heart is exhausted and I haven't said a word. Has anyone else lived like this, or found ways to carry the prayer through the doubt?