I hold on to sabr but I am breaking

I just read the story I Loved You for Allah on Athar and I have not stopped thinking about it. My husband and I have been trying for a child for years. Some days I fold laundry at fajr and whisper my grandmother's du'a into the steam of the kettle. Other days I sit on the bus and watch a mother with a stroller and feel a hard, quiet envy. I am trying to be patient without pretending I am fine. Please make dua for us, for an opening, and for the honesty to continue showing up. If you have been here, what kept you going?