I make suhoor and he hasn't called

Ramadan has made the silence louder. My father and I have not really spoken in two years, not since a conversation that went sideways and never found its way back. I wake at fajr to make suhoor for the kids, and the kettle's whistle sounds like a question I can't answer. My older one asks about grandpa and I freeze, then say nothing. I leave texts, they sit on read, and I rehearse apologies I never send. Has anyone else felt this hollow during Ramadan, and how did you carry it without breaking everything at home?